someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
