Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
