All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
