My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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