Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
