id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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