haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
