are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
