don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
