But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
