So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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