god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
