I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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