Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Jerry, you need to find god
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
