Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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