1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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