He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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