I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
