you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
