dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
