So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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