You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
