you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
