I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
