just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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