Pappa wants mamma naked
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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