I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She needs sedatives and a leash
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
