dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Did I show you my penis last night?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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