Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
