so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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