I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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