..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
