I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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