I hate your face
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
