i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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