using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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