i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
