Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
