She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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