Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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