And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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