how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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