On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Sponge bath it is.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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