oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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