I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
