dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
