i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
