Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
