Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think a kid would responsible me up
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You've changed since you got that strap on
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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