my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
