oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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