Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
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I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
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I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment