Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

Fav 16 1504 2323
share tweet
(786): View more from Florida

hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.

Fav 8 5331 1775
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

Fav 2 2534 1043
share tweet
(828): View more from North Carolina

i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches

Fav 4 2290 939
share tweet
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

(617): View more from Massachusetts

i want to face-plant into her vagina

Fav 10 2859 899
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.

Fav 0 1137 732
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

Get your penis over here NOW. emergency

Fav 10 2473 896
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.

Fav 5 379 766
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.

Fav 0 6 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT