I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
