I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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