Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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