I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
