I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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