We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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