I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
