Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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