Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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