One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
