3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
