At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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