Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
