My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
