you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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